John Hannon

John is four hundred thirty-one years old, but he doesn't look it. His head is kept alive by a sophisticated aluminum alloy robot body. He is a consumate driver who has handled cars, trucks, jeeps, pies, and even a giant banana. He is often called "Grandpa" as a result of a clerical error some years ago.

John is the only member of Fancushion who is able to use a telephone.