Why should we have all the fun?

Public Performance Art
You Can Do Where You Live*

The News
Get a large, blank sheet of paper, or posterboard if you have some. Walk down a busy sidewalk, counting the people passing you in the opposite direction. Shove the piece of paper at every twentieth person and shout "No news is good news!"

Instructions from Television
Walk into a coffee shop or similar establishment. Do not order anything or look at anyone. Pick up a chair and put it down directly in front of a wall, facing the wall. Sit in the chair, as close to the wall as you can. Stare at the wall. Remain there for fifteen minutes or until someone asks you why you are sitting there, in which case you should answer, "the big yellow head on television told me to." Leave immediately.

Attach some straps to a shallow cardboard box and make yourself one of those "cigarette girl" vending trays. Fill the tray up with paper cups full of dirt or old socks cut into strips or something equally valueless, whatever you can find. Put on the tray and a snappy outfit and walk around saying, "souvenirs". Sell things to people if you can.
Best done with a group.

Someone is Watching
Get in a car and drive around town. Someone in the passenger's seat should have a camera (it is not necessary that there be film in it). Drive up next to other cars and pretend you are taking pictures of the occupants. See what they do. For added fun, have the person taking the pictures wear an old, scary-looking US Army surplus gas mask.

Parasitic Twin II
Gather together some stuffed animals and a good-sized cardboard box or two. Get some posterboard or something similar and make yourself an official-looking sign that says "Parasitic Twin II Stuffed Animal Trivia Challenge". Set yourself up at a mall or other public place with the animals on display and the boxes clearly visible to imply that there are plenty of prizes. Offer a free stuffed animal to anyone who can tell you the name of the talking rat from the movie "Parasitic Twin". Tell them it's a promotion for the new film Parasitic Twin II. Act surprised when they tell you they've never heard of Parasitic Twin and try to describe it to them. Be really incredulous when they insist that they don't remember it. Make up insane details. Tell them they absolutely have to see the new one, but act like you're being paid to say it.
Obviously, this one is better the more official you look. Take a partner and a card table if you have them. Do up a nice logo, make a Parasitic Twin II T-shirt. Have buttons made and pin them on the stuffed animals. Go wild.

Peace Talks
Get together a group of about four or so in a public place. The performers begin each in a separate spot. Each has a folding chair, though they need not be sitting on the chairs. They take turns periodically shouting at one another, "I'm not listening to you!". In fact, they should appear to be deliberately and pointedly ignoring one another, except when it's their turn to shout. After a while, one of the performers goes and gets a card table from somewhere, setting it up in a central open space. All the performers gather around and set up their chairs at the table. Each produces a previously hidden nameplate (which can be made out of a thin piece of cardboard folded in half), each with a different word written on it. The words can be concepts, imaginary countries, anything at all. They sit at the table with their nameplates in front of them. They begin saying, "I'm not listening to you!" to one another, calmly at first, but gradually louder and more frantically until all are yelling. The fight gets worse until the performers pick up their nameplates and chairs and stalk off. They can either: If any of the performers are asked what is going on, they should respond with one of a small, pre-arranged set of phrases, such as:

*DISCLAIMER: Naturally, Louie cannot accept any responsibility for anything that happens to you while pulling stunts you read about here. If you annoy someone and get punched in the nose, don't come crying to us. Performance is, as it always is, at the risk of the artist.