The POTW: Verse Til It Hurts


POTW #818
(Week of 21 October, 2012)

Every time I see one of those giant temporary Halloween stores I can't resist going in, but I nearly always come out empty-handed. Apparently I need to do my holiday shopping elsewhere.

Very Similitude

October comes and fills the stores
With flimsy haunts and cardboard gore
With two-dimensional decor
And underwhelming gear galore
But for the artist aiming higher
There are alternate suppliers
To make the gory and sadistic
Appear more horribly realistic
Food-dyed cornstarch is a dud
For the finest-looking blood
Contact Angus Englefort
Shipping is free if you order a quart
And Englefort is an EMT
So he knows the hue and consistency
Keep it sealed until use, because
It dries exactly like real blood does
And if you're after quality organs
The men you want are Morgan and Morgan
Visit the shop (behind a mortician's)
Or call on the phone to discuss a commission
The usual wait is a couple of weeks
But you'll be amazed by their detailed technique
And everything comes to you shrink-wrapped and tidy
Though often a little formaldehydey
And for the best in horror masks
Call Elena Beaumont-Trask
Professor of demonology
At Lovecraft University
A well-known school of occult engineering
Whose interns are famous for disappearing
If you didn't know any better you'd swear
These masks were genuine skin and hair
Where did I find these experts, you ask?
Englefort and Beaumont-Trask?
They're on a secret internet forum
The disclosure of which is a breach of decorum
They don't seem to want the word to get out
Though I'm not quite sure what they're worried about
I mean, it's all in fun, am I right?
But these folks prefer to stay out of sight
And Morgan and Morgan, and other purveyors
Are vocal about what they'll do to betrayers
In fact, dispose of this message right now
In case they'd try to track you down
It's possible to know too much
About masks and blood and organs and such
And maybe, after all, it's best
To stick to the retail stores with the rest

Copyright © 2012 by Dave Grossman

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