The POTW: Verse Til It Hurts


POTW #816
(Week of 7 October, 2012)

Legendary cartoonist/writer/game designer Andy Hartzell helped provide inspiration for this one the other day, when he sent me a news article about a farmer who was eaten by his pigs. I smelled poem on it immediately.


My dinner plate has a moral stance
I won't eat creatures that only eat plants
But predators like wolves and bears
Well, tit for tat and fair is fair
And so I make my daily feast
On the succulent flesh of flesh-eating beasts
Blackened leopard Hollandaise
Coyote cheeks in honey glaze
Fillet of shark and wolverine stew
I only do what they would do
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
And piranha taste great when they're poached in vermouth
But the most delicious meal of all
Is deadly not with fang or claw
Attacking instead with a big juicy brain
The hunter ape at the top of the food chain
Cacciatori cacciatore
Called by some the most dangerous quarry
Grilled or braised or fried or steamed
I can't get enough of human being!

Copyright © 2012 by Dave Grossman

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Interested in more? Check out "Ode to the Stuff in the Sink," Dave's illustrated book of "guy" verse (concerning the deeper philosophies of things like not doing the laundry, putting your feet on the furniture, and of course beer) at the Maximegalomporium (our store). And did I mention it was illustrated? Pictures!

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