The POTW: Verse Til It Hurts
This was all triggered by something I read in an article recently, to the effect that makers of fake plants would prefer we call them "permanent botanicals." Predictably, I became irate about the larger trend of constantly branding and re-branding everything in our lives. (Incidentally, some of those fake plants are pretty convincing these days!)
Word that I invented and like, but that was ultimately evicted from the poem: "dysgestible," referring to the kind of thing you can eat but probably shouldn't.
Artificial plants are now called "permanent botanicals"
"Nicotine residuals" and "canine rear emissions"
"Profound dogmatic durable pre-qualified position"
And crimes will now be known as "extra-legal creativity"
"Small" and "short" are not how I prefer myself be labeled
Copyright © 2013 by Dave Grossman
Permanent link to this entry: http://www.phrenopolis.com/poem/index.php?p=842
The POTW has been on hiatus for a few years now, but you never know when I might pick it back up again. If you use a blog reader of some sort, you can add the poem to it using This Link. Or, if you like, you can have the POTW sent to you by email every week (it's FREE). With our high-tech automated system, all you have to do is send an email to subscribePOTW@phrenopolis.com from the mail account where you want to receive it, and we'll put you on the list. You will receive a confirmation by email, although it may take a while as the automated subscription process is quite complex and arcane. (You can see just exactly how complex and arcane it is by taking our guided tour.)
No strings are attached. No salesmen will visit your home. No spam will occur. Your privacy will be vigorously protected. If you have questions, consult the FAQ.
Buy This Book:
Interested in more? Check out "Ode to the Stuff in the Sink," Dave's illustrated book of "guy" verse (concerning the deeper philosophies of things like not doing the laundry, putting your feet on the furniture, and of course beer) at the Maximegalomporium (our store). And did I mention it was illustrated? Pictures!
Where Do You Get Your Ideas?:
Like any self-respecting citizen of the modern age, I use machinery.
Other Frequently Asked Questions:
Consult the POTW FAQ.